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About Literature / Hobbyist Joel KohMale/Singapore Group :iconsingaporeart: singaporeART
I'm a Singaporean!
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i.

i crave permanence.

i've been aching for ink on my skin,
a promise of time and things to come,
so that i can say
i'm here, i exist, i am a constant
instead of fading in and out of focus.

ii.

i crave permanence.

i've been straining for consistency,
but falling into old melancholies,
thrums of insufficiency and fear-
fear that you'll tire of me.

because my insecurities will quickly turn
from endearing quirks to crippling flaws
and my childish, clumsy hands will lose their
youthful, giggly charm.

iii.

it's the eighteen year of war, and this raucous mind does not tire
instead, my soul does, and it's all i have left.
goodnight.

are you asleep? i hope you breathe easy
i hope the morning finds you well and rested
i'll be awake when you rise, because my mind and body are at odds-
there is dissension within this tiny vessel, and neither loves the other.
there is no fucking space in my soul for two.

but yet i live in halves, a ragged split etched deep,
an impossibility crammed down the corridors of my mind
so that my halls are always full with the drifting of my ghosts
the ever-lurking ache for constancy still sits comfortably
in the pit of my shallow heaving chest; the same one
so full of uncertainty and half-ready love.
but i know i'm not the type you'll be proud of,
i know that you won't write poetry about me.

is it easier to die?

goodmorning.

hello, moonchild. i hope you have a good day.
been a few months. not writing as much as i used to, but i like to think i have more quality these days. sadness comes less often now but still comes hard. learning to cope by shutting myself off and listening to music. anger problems still well and alive. but i'm growing. thank you to the precious few who still pay attention to the ramblings i dump on here.
pounding in my breastbone,
my heart sings and quavers with the stress of existence;
the years sift like boracay sand and my soul is wracked with change

the mind disconnects, the flesh decays
be my skyline, i'll be your wave
and let me return to the ashes from which i came
as i expire, the soul remembers how it was treated
i'll not paint over the cracks in my brittle psyche
instead fill them with rebirth like kintsugi

i have learnt to be whole,
and my thunderous screaming heart may rest.
belgard
(noun) An obsolete word, belgard is defined as a sweet or loving look. A belgard displays a silent intimacy. Classic signs of this display of affection involve tilting your head at your loved one when they speak, the coquette raise of the eyes, a smile, and a kind, amorous glance.
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i'm tired of turning myself into poetry

how very tired, how very cliche;
i have no stardust running through my veins,
i do not exhale beauty with my breath,
my eyes do not sparkle like arctic shine
it's been years since i've been comfortable in this skin.

i'm tired of apologising and shoegazing

how very exhausting, how very contrite;
i wish to fold into myself and buckle and break
i hope to die in my sleep and take the black
i pray to silent gods who stare down unblinking
that they'll take me away and eat my soul
my ambitions lie unfinished, but strangely-
it's been months since i could rouse myself to care.
been a few months. not writing as much as i used to, but i like to think i have more quality these days. sadness comes less often now but still comes hard. learning to cope by shutting myself off and listening to music. anger problems still well and alive. but i'm growing. thank you to the precious few who still pay attention to the ramblings i dump on here.

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Joel Koh
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Singapore
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:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
happy birthday, cutie! have a wonderful day :party:
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:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner May 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!!! fak this is like 26 days late??????? but thank you so much I APPRECIATE IT, HAVE A GREAT DAY
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:iconanobrain:
anobrain Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015
:heart:
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:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
welcome!
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:iconshedares:
SheDares Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:meow:
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:iconsilentmelancholy27:
SilentMelancholy27 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey! Thanks for the watch and fave. Sorry this is a little late, I've not been active for a while.
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:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
welcome! :) you've got rad hair by the way haha
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:iconsilentmelancholy27:
SilentMelancholy27 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww thanks :) 
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