"hey, don't worry,
depend on Jesus"
where was Jesus when i had depression
the voice of God was conspicuously absent
amongst the choir in my skull
and where were my fucking miracles
when my tragedies were spilling free
if Jesus was a sweet man
he would have made me in his image
and not molded me into a bundle of frayed nerves
and hellish tempers that surge beneath my unkempt scalp
please, liar girl,
i did not feel the warmth of heaven
when loneliness ran me cold.
and forgive me, dear sister, if I do not trust your words
because you're a goddamn hypocrite;
you're shiny and spick-span on your outside
but blacker than sour sin at heart
i should know, i saw that heart and held it.
if Jesus taught you that
then Jesus is a terrible man
but somehow i suspect
that your failings are your own.