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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Joel KohMale/Singapore Group :iconsingaporeart: singaporeART
I'm a Singaporean!
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deviation in storage by 001-JeSter-100



pounding in my breastbone,
my heart sings and quavers with the stress of existence;
the years sift like boracay sand and my soul is wracked with change

the mind disconnects, the flesh decays
be my skyline, i'll be your wave
and let me return to the ashes from which i came
as i expire, the soul remembers how it was treated
i'll not paint over the cracks in my brittle psyche
instead fill them with rebirth like kintsugi

i have learnt to be whole,
and my thunderous screaming heart may rest.
(noun) An obsolete word, belgard is defined as a sweet or loving look. A belgard displays a silent intimacy. Classic signs of this display of affection involve tilting your head at your loved one when they speak, the coquette raise of the eyes, a smile, and a kind, amorous glance.
i'm tired of turning myself into poetry

how very tired, how very cliche;
i have no stardust running through my veins,
i do not exhale beauty with my breath,
my eyes do not sparkle like arctic shine
it's been years since i've been comfortable in this skin.

i'm tired of apologising and shoegazing

how very exhausting, how very contrite;
i wish to fold into myself and buckle and break
i hope to die in my sleep and take the black
i pray to silent gods who stare down unblinking
that they'll take me away and eat my soul
my ambitions lie unfinished, but strangely-
it's been months since i could rouse myself to care.
tease the discontent through your fingertips,
spike the rage through your backbone-
bleed your veins of apathy, clutch your pain to your chest;
it's the only constant you know

exhale solitude and snarl through silence,
shriek at empty air-
let the world creep in and make its nest,
smiling in the corner of your soul.

taste blood in your mouth, tongue the ragged wounds,
carved in from the greed slithering through your throat
gather your disgust and




kill something and make sure it kills you too.
i hope the next time i see you,
my face is on a gurney
staring blank-eyed and coughing blood from grimy lungs
leaking spit through my teeth and twitching like a guitar string

but oh, what's the point,
you won't fucking care
god will save you anyway; i know he loves you so
i could scream until my throat crawls out and dies
but you won't blink a eye

so take your non-existent guilt and choke
i'm tired of writing about you
but remember this:
i used to be a burning example,
i used to be a poster child for sunshine
my mind used to be quiet and calm as winter ice
i didn't need to remind myself to unclench my hands
i never needed to hold my skull in between my knees
just to keep myself from breaking it
see, i never needed to pay attention to how my fingers trembled
and listen, i need you like i need a gunshot to the head

but what's the matter, you'll sleep easy anyway
and it's alright, because i'll kill you before I let you kill me
i don't need you to care, and-

i hope the next time i see you,
no one is on a gurney, and i pray you won't remember me-
because tonight, i'm ripping you out
from the crawlspaces you made under my skin
tonight, i'm bleeding me clean of you.
have a good year everyone, i hope 2014 was alright for you. stay safe.
keep your eyes down, child
hush now hush don't say a damn word
stay quiet stay low stay out of sight
hands to your sides, out of your goddamn pockets

shut your mouth, swallow that bile that's building in your throat
you a proud boy but your place isn't here
speak and they'll call it an excuse-
to grab you by the neck and shoot you in the back

but you always taught me i'm a man of my own,
you always said 'take no shit'
so why we afraid in the houses we own
why do i stay quiet when the streets are full

mama mama, i'm tired of running and i'm no slave,
i'm no court jester and i'm no thug,
mama you put me to school for a reason
your hands ain't rough for the fun o' it,
so i'll be damned if my mouth stays shut

because, mama, i grew up in these streets;
been a proud man the way you raised
light one up, mama, i know you love your smokes
i'll be home before it burns.
I'm taking a short break from deviantART, and I'll be back in January. I'll still be on the site from time to time, but I won't be submitting any work. I hope I don't lose any watchers haha. Hit me up if you wanna chat. Thanks everyone :)


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Joel Koh
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blubbityblub Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
SheDares Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
SilentMelancholy27 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey! Thanks for the watch and fave. Sorry this is a little late, I've not been active for a while.
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
welcome! :) you've got rad hair by the way haha
SilentMelancholy27 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww thanks :) 
solis-ortus Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015  Student Writer
Tag a quality deviant: You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! Heart
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Hobbyist Writer

behmchannel123 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014
They see the rabbit rolling:…
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