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I think it's very good. I like it, I do. The characters, Narcissa and the old man (Jantus?), my first impression is that they're rather deep and thoroughly likeable, and I do wish to know more about them. As for the story itself, you've created an astoundingly imaginative world for yourself here, and you said that it's inspired by Alice in Wonderland? Well, it captures the same ruthless imaginative power that Alice had. Very well done, and your vocabulary is wonderful as well. Some negative feedback (because there always is xD) is that you might want to make the spacing between paragraphs abit larger, so it's easier to read. Hit 'Enter' twice. And there can be TOO much of a good thing, so you might want to ease off on the big words every once in a while. Other than those minor gripes, FANTASTICALLY DONE.
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KittyNocturna Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the advise and the compliment. I'll be sure to spare some time to apply the advice soon as possible -likely after I finish the plushie requested from a friend.
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